Lazy

Although I am working on a piece about the craziest bum I've ever seen, thats not ready - and I'm pretty lazy today (and still bummed out about Killzone2's controls feeling like a joint development effort between Michael J Fox and Christopher Reeves) so here's the best I could come up with in about 30 seconds of searching.
enjoy.

Haiku Time

What did Jesus say?
I think it was 'BRB'
Phew, I was worried.

My parents are dicks
Substandard engineering
Makes me retarded

When game controls go bad

Killzone 2. Wow. Great game, too bad the controls are FUCKING GARBAGE! Jesus. I would rant and rave - but just watch this, it'll explain it.




it feel like your character is stuck in molasses. All. the. time.

Breakfast with Biggie and Hitler

what?

Band Name

Space Racist

Southern rock opera, think Credence meets Meko but hating all non-white people at the same time.

John Hamblen = SOOOO racist.

Well here's John, drunk, and saying the n-word. A lot. For shame.

In case anyone wants to boo this man, you can find him here: www.myspace.com/tastelessjoke

Crystal Crystal and the Fuck Fucks

I know that last year was the year of bands with 'crystal' and/or 'fuck' in their name and that we're deep in the year of 'girls' in band names (See: Girls, Dum Dum Girls, Fungi Girls, Women, Vivian Girls, etc) but a lesser known crystal from last year, Crystal Antlers have a full length coming out soon, which I really liked on my first listen. Scope track #4 "Andrew." Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers has it.

Since we all like Modeselektor and Apparat, why not cop yourself the new Moderat s/t? I'm sure all the kids over at Bolachas Gratis are shaking their asses to this as well.

I didn't know what to expect when I heard that Grandmaster Flash was producing a new record, but I probably should have been able to guess; fresh beats, and positive flows. I sometimes forget that hip-hop can be uplifting. I'm not very familiar with Slackers Blog, but they've got it for you.

And last but not least is the new one from Dan Deacon. It should come as no surprise that it's fun, electronic, and Animal Collective-y. Thanks El Rincon De Kik

Pee Ess: I have no idea why Google image search pulls this poorly designed bridge up when you search for "Crystal Fuck Girls"... but I like it.

Need to get angry?

So if you need to get pissed (and when I say "pissed" I do not mean "drunk" for any of you limey ass English fag-readers) for some reason, like I dunno - you're about to be off work and need to get your gameface on before you go home, get drunk and beat the living shit out of your wife/girlfriend/dog/whatever - well then watch this and god help your girlfriend



Oh, millionaires - people like you are the reason god doesn't talk to us anymore.

PS: you deserve a medal if you actually finish that whole video. Well...a medal or a helmet.

On The Dispensable Grievances of Continent Labels, Y's and RaccoonBears

So, here's some stuff that's been bothering me lately - and by 'lately' I mean 'not really lately at all'.

Europe: you're not a continent; you've NEVER been a continent. I know, it would be galling if a raw cowboy circus-island like Australia retained it's glittery continent label while you were downgraded to Midsize Peninsula of Western Asia. But hello? Look at a map. Besides these days you've got the euro, which is currently trading at about ridiculous against the US dollar. So don't get fucking greedy.

The Letter “Y”: A vowel? Come the fuck on. Y gets plenty of work as a consonant without having to moonlight in a job it wasn't designed for. Someone needs to show some guts and either change the spelling of problem words (whats wrong with fli, cri, cript?) or relax the rule about every word having to have at least one vowel in it. Either way is fine, but the whole “sometimes y” thing has always smelled like some bullshit to me.

Pandas: Fucking Pandas. Are you raccoons or are you bears? Seems the lesser known red panda is leaning towards the raccoon side of the house, which (for me) has thrown the whole Panda clan into question. I say split the difference: go for bears with the whites ones, raccoons for the red ones, and do it quick (These are biologists we're dealing with here, not astronomers, give them too much time and they'll start dissecting things). While we're at it we should focus on developing some kind of extra powerful Panda aphrodisiac – because we all know those fickle bastards aren't interested in fucking. Even to save their species from oblivion. I love Pandas as much as the next school girl, and I know I'll be upset to see them go.