Diablo Cody's ugly troll ass belongs under a bridge asking people three riddles

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Don’t get me wrong, I understand that in certain mediums of entertainment it’s understandable and enhancing to have a stage name of sorts. Now, how valid, understandable, applicable or annoying the stage name may be is as variable as the persons using them. No big surprise, however, that most monikers are just fucking obnoxious. Need a good example? How about Bono. Oh, and speaking of U2 – their guitarist goes by “The Edge”….no, really.

But, that’s music. How about pro wrestlers? No one uses their real name. Even film stars often change up their names. But that’s movies.

So what about literature? Well, I get that sometimes perhaps the author’s subject is something dangerous, or for whatever ever reason, they may need to keep their identity secret. Or perhaps there are several authors who chose to write united under a single name. Or maybe the author is writing something outside of their norm and need to be taken seriously and out of context of what they normally write, so they use a pen name.

Really what I’m getting at here is I fucking hate Diablo Cody. Because that’s a stupid goddam name, and everyone regards her like she’s super cool underground female Chuck Palahniuk (who is also retardedly overrated), pop culture messiah who’s every keystroke produces work of staggering genius and boundless wit that must taste like the sweetest ambrosia to any film/television exec because they all seem to eat it up. Writers don’t need rock star aliases, and those who have one are just as fucking stupid as the people who read their bullshit. Don’t even get me started on Poppy Z Brite. If you’re a writer then the work you produce is your name, if you want glitz and glamour you’re in the wrong field.

Any fuckfaced faggot can record some bullshit, upload it to myspace and land a record deal. To be a fucking actor all you have to do is be good looking, and often not even that – my point is you don’t need a honed and refined skillset for those things. Yes, a lot of musicians and actors are truly gifted at what they do – but a lot truly aren’t. So what right? Well the point is here that real talent when it comes to being successful at writing, it takes a fuck of a lot more then music or acting – and when some asshole does make it with a stupid moniker it cheapens the art that is writing. And it makes the rest of us look bad.

Diablo Cody isn’t a writer. She’s an ugly ex- stripper who had a blog, a blog some fucker thought was witty and helped her get a book deal. Oh and a stupid name. Apparently the rest of us real writers are going about this all wrong.

And by the way, for all you dumb fuckers that actually though Juno was a good movie, don’t be too stoked on her “writing” it – do a little research – she was a writing consultant.

Fuckers.