less is more, particularly when "more" means having two male sex organs.

fetus in fetu is apparently considered to be a disfiguration. an abomination. a handicap. at least to eastern europeans, it would seem. and it begs the question: had they not operated on sweet, little Artyom G's future god-given complex (which, i believe, we're all inherently entitled to), would this boy have grown up to think he was twice the man every complicated, lust-filled woman begs for (think: redefining double-penetration. gang bangs squared. multiple orgasms. ménage à deux dick.), or would he simply develop algebraic insecurities regarding the size of his forever-scarred genitalia?: it's not just small/limp/funny looking -- it's small/limp/funny looking, divided by the sum of the equal parts times two, fractioned and fucked with.

that's just math no teenage male should ever have to think about.

On The Dispensable Grievances of Continent Labels, Y's and RaccoonBears

So, here's some stuff that's been bothering me lately - and by 'lately' I mean 'not really lately at all'.

Europe: you're not a continent; you've NEVER been a continent. I know, it would be galling if a raw cowboy circus-island like Australia retained it's glittery continent label while you were downgraded to Midsize Peninsula of Western Asia. But hello? Look at a map. Besides these days you've got the euro, which is currently trading at about ridiculous against the US dollar. So don't get fucking greedy.

The Letter “Y”: A vowel? Come the fuck on. Y gets plenty of work as a consonant without having to moonlight in a job it wasn't designed for. Someone needs to show some guts and either change the spelling of problem words (whats wrong with fli, cri, cript?) or relax the rule about every word having to have at least one vowel in it. Either way is fine, but the whole “sometimes y” thing has always smelled like some bullshit to me.

Pandas: Fucking Pandas. Are you raccoons or are you bears? Seems the lesser known red panda is leaning towards the raccoon side of the house, which (for me) has thrown the whole Panda clan into question. I say split the difference: go for bears with the whites ones, raccoons for the red ones, and do it quick (These are biologists we're dealing with here, not astronomers, give them too much time and they'll start dissecting things). While we're at it we should focus on developing some kind of extra powerful Panda aphrodisiac – because we all know those fickle bastards aren't interested in fucking. Even to save their species from oblivion. I love Pandas as much as the next school girl, and I know I'll be upset to see them go.